Summer Occasions

 Come summer and I dread,partly the unbearable heat but more so the number of auspicious ceremonies that need to be attended.Not that I am an anti-social animal but to attend parties and functions in hot summer, especially in humid coastal region like mangalore is  a different story all together. 

It all begins at the wake of summer, people seem to get good muhurthams only on the hottest days of the season.Pretty and colorful invitation cards arrive from various places in many different ways, by post, in person and now the "in thing " -facebook  watsapp , and what not. 

The preparation starts.To begin with, silk saree's have to be found from the depths of the wardrobe,ignored until now and all covered with cobwebs. Next,the blouses seem to shrink year after year,not that i am gaining weight. I have to remove a stitch or two and even then I am barely able to breath. Finally, comes the gold,I get all of it from the bank.The heavier your saree and gold more the people seem to be impressed.You may ask what if they are not impressed? Then I am the target  for the day and will be stared at as if I am an animal from a different planet.People shoot comments left, right and center. Why take all this trouble?I choose to bear the torture of wearing the saree than get shot by the high caliber verbal bullets. I always envy the opposite sex who can wear a cotton shirt and trouser and get away with it.

Finally, the D-Day is here. I take longer than usual to drape the nine (ty?) yard saree and get ready. The car is like an oven already and I am all drenched in sweat by the time I wade through the traffic and reach the venue. As I sit and try to make small talk, I see only bored and sleepy faces all around. I wonder how many people gather to speak to friends and family and to watch the rituals? What is the real purpose of these costly affairs? Why can we not show off and have a fun filled function with just a few close friends and relatives.Suddenly, I see a long queue for presentations and photo sessions.So I join the queue and the heady mix  of sweat,jasmine fragrance and various perfumes make me so nauseated that I am in no mood to eat the pompous feast that follows. The mad scramble continues as all the 500-600 people throng to the food hall at once to try and leave as soon as possible.

As I finally make my way out to the car, I see dark clouds gathering and heave a sigh of relief that the monsoon is almost here....I can just relax in my easy chair with tea and pakodas and not worry about it all until next summer.